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Lachlan Bryan

Criticism of Australian art and music, anchored to the rooms, roads and paperwork where it actually happens.
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The Roots Are Showing: Reading the ‘Let’s Root For Each Other’ Shirt

Nov 2, 2026 Clinton Morrison

The first thing I notice is that the roots are visible. Not buried, not implied — drawn. Four root vegetables…

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The Crossed-Out Hand Is the Whole Argument: Reading a ‘Not Friendly Do Not Touch’ Shirt

Nov 1, 2026 Clinton Morrison

The first thing the shirt does is borrow the grammar of a hazard sign. Across the chest, in the block…

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The Heart-Shaped Nose Is the Tell: Reading a Smiling Jack-o’-Lantern Shirt

Oct 31, 2026 Clinton Morrison

The pumpkin is orange, the eyes are round, and the nose is a heart. The mouth is smiling. That is…

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The Bird Is Holding the Board Straight: Reading the ‘Got Too Silly’ Mugshot

Oct 30, 2026 Clinton Morrison

The first thing the shirt asks you to notice is not the bird. It is the board. A black rectangle,…

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The Full Stop After ‘Meh’: Reading a Very Small Lowercase Shirt

Oct 29, 2026 Clinton Morrison

The first thing to notice is the scale. On the dark garment preview, the word meh. sits dead centre, lowercase,…

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The Cat Is Not Looking at You: Reading the ‘Wait I’m Goated’ Shirt

Oct 28, 2026 Clinton Morrison

The first thing to notice is the gap. On the shirt, the word WAIT sits in white capitals above an…

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The Fangs Are the Whole Argument: Reading a Vampire Jack-o’-Lantern Shirt

Oct 27, 2026 Clinton Morrison

The pumpkin is orange, carved in the standard way — two triangular eyes, a small triangular nose — and then,…

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